i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
