So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
