Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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