Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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