we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
