did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
