I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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