I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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