he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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