i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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