do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
