awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
