If i come over, it means nothing
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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