You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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