So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize