all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
