I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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