I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
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You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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