literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
