i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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