I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
