See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
