Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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