What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
