you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
