Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
