she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
