She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize