so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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