You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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