you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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