We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
