I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
