i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
