Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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