opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
