Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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