That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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