Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
