Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
