how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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