i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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