At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
try to milk me bitch
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