I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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