Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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