Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
