I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
