Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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