Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
