He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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