I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My dick has a subreddit
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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