I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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