Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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