You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
