maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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