I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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