Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
