We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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