I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
