he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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