Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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