i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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