PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
At least life still wants to fuck me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
