Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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